Be Assertive Learning Review

 Be Assertive Learning Review

During the last few weeks of English, we have been learning about different behavioural responses. These responses include being aggressive, passive, indirect and assertive.  This post is a review of our learning so far in preparation for our assessment.

Teaching Resource

1. What are the four types of behavioural responses and what does each mean? The four types of behavioural responses are aggressive, passive, indirect and assertive.

- Aggressive is where you are loud and rude and you aren't respecting of other people. 

- Passive is usually where you are very quiet and you don't say anything to anyone and you just let things happen.

- Indirect is where you tell someone else and tell them to go and do something about it instead of doing it yourself.

- Assertive is where you are respecting other people while sticking up for yourself and telling them what you want.

2. What is the definition of Assertive Communication?

Assertive communication is maintaining respect, defending rights and satisfying needs.

3. What are the three 'describes' and when should you use them?

The three describes are describe the situation, describe your feelings and describe the changes you want. You should use these when being Assertive.

4. List and explain 5 of the 'Assertive Communication Tools'.

- I statement: "I feel disappointed because I can't hang out with you."

- Be positive: "It is okay you can't come, next time might have better weather."

- Think we as well as me: "We can hang out another time when we are both free."

- Thank them: "Thank you for letting me know that you can't make it today."

- Acknowledge their feelings: "I understand you might be upset that we can't hang out today."

5. List and explain 3 barriers to assertive communication.

- Age: Some people believe that younger people need to listen to older people and when the younger people are being assertive they take it as the younger people being rude or impolite. The other side of this is when older people are being assertive with younger people, the younger people feel they are only doing this because thet are older.

- Cultural: In many cultures, women are put down to a lower position than men and make them feel smaller. This causes them to act like this when they come to New Zealand instead of being able to be assertive.

- Gender: The cultural barriers talked about may also be considered as gender barriers. Men feel more comfortable speaking assertively with their male coworkers but not as comfortable with their femal coworkers as they think they are pestering them. Some men also feel uncomfortable responding to women being assertive especially if they still hold the feeling that women are inferior or appear to be so.

6. What does assertive communication look like?

Assertive communication looks like people maintaining eye contact and also sitting up straight without slouching. It also looks like being relaxed not stiffening your arms or pointing your finger aswell as facing them.

7. What does assertive communication sound like?

It should sound clear and talking at a steady pace, not too fast and not too slow. Keeping the tone calm and not raising your voice or mumbling.

8. What does it mean to act like a scratched record when it comes to your boundaries?

I think that it means to not give into peer pressure and if you don't want to do something then say no and continue to say no until the other person/people understand and respect that you do not want to do it. I think it also means to not be afraid of standing your own ground.

9. Think back to a time when you or a friend used a behavioural response that was not assertive and how were you in the situation?

My friend took my things without permission which caused me to get mad and yell at them. This was an aggressive response which caused conflict in our friendship. Instead I think I should have told them to ask me to use my things and let them know I didn't like it when they took stuff without asking. Being assertive instead of being aggressive in this situation could have prevented an unnecessary argument.

10. Reflect on your behavioural responses, how do you usually respond to tricky situations? 

Usually in difficult situations I either use aggressive or passive responses which both negatively impact what is happening. With future situations I want to start being more assertive so that I can be respectful while trying to achieve what I need. While doing this I am going to try and remember to keep calm and also not be so scared during these situations.